With You
When I'm with You
David Rim
You should go to a club. Find someone there. Bring them home and just have a great time. When I am with you the world slows down. My walls become lower where you can see over them on your tippy toes.
Nothing is off limits.
Although, I would not mind skipping the games or phase in this matter. Do we really need to push or pull? Does there have to be a magical wave of the wand? Yet, you would like to feel safe, secure and understood. That moving "too fast" overcircuits the built in biological defense mechanisms. Why, am I hooked like a fish and am not allowed to show any emotion. That if I chose to share my overflowing cup it would feel like special treatment.
Truth would be I need you because our purpose aligns. And like a fairytale it's meant to be. God's funny though because free will comes with the number three. Whether it's the three strands of a chord that cannot be easily broken. Or the verse that says we can lift each other back up. I need you now more then ever. If my minds been distracted it's because of you. God says you choose and have faith. Because God would make my crooked path straight.
When I am with you (tune of Lisa's song). Not really sure myself. My soul says you are the one don't give up. But the world says to move on since you forgot about me. Which essentially means do not forgive. But what kind of Jesus freak would I be if I cannot forgive a little misunderstanding, a little out of character move, a little growing pain. I feel we just met and it could have been not the right time. However, when I am with you my guard is lowered.
My mind/heart is at peace.
You should just go ask them out. I would and I probably should. But none of them come talk to me. Not sure what makes them so shy. I really do not bite. I only think of work, surviving, future, Jesus sprinkles, and poker. Yet, why would I ask them out I have no plans. I have already hung out with them, eating lunch, eating dinner, saving seats for them in service, trying to say hello in person, dms, trying to pay for their meal, helping them setup at church, grocery shopping, car rides to the park, and helping when I have time.
Nothing gets better then having them by my side doing the boring things of life already.
The thing that hits hard right now was most recent events. I wrote about the number three and it's symbolic meaning and patterns. I forgot a chord in musical terms is three. Music is a funny common ground if things were to be true. Ones got musical talents singing or dancing. The other is named musically. Hindsight is 20/20 I laugh because I was so hyper focused on not feeling like shit. Because medically I am trying still to this day to understand what normal conditions are supposed to feel like. So many events have happened all the images started to blur.
I am going to tip toe like it matters. The only fear here is if I choose I will not be hiding in the shadows no more. I will be revealing my hand of poker. And will be here for my call to the stage. The innate fear I have is the love I'm curating because whoever I chose would have to be first behind Jesus. Yet, the others wouldn't necessarily be behind either because they would still be in under my circle. The circles quite delicate and intricate leaving that mess with God. My souls also been crying out to a bunch of old ties that have been mia. Think of me as a little Shepard boy named David gathering everyone with the assistance from a helpmate that's my Eve. More like Ruth who's been sneaking around in my field like I wouldn't have noticed. I just don't like having to feign. Could be an Esther knocking me awake or is Esther needing to prep. Could be some Jezebels firing at my soul to remind me to keep sharp and vigilant.
If I had to choose based on who makes me less crazy. It would be any one of them. No, but pick one who brings you closer to God. Any would force me to get closer to God to move any closer. No, but for real God would open up the door. God hasn't really shut any of them like taunting me how I taunt the poker players. Like try it out, test it out, do your worst or be at your worst. And see which one stays by your side. They all met me (seen) while I'm at a low and recovering not knowing what (or who) im battling with. Not knowing that being themselves would help me be me.
When I am with you in retrospect. I am at peace. I am not the place yet God's telling me it's alright. Leading me to a place of trust.