Feelings to be continued...

Feelings Inevitable

David Rim

I feel it's inevitable. My families along the Levitical line. Yet, the pastoring got passed down to my sister who's the first born. But I feel strongly that I'm supposed to be 'the' support. Not sure how to explain it. Not that my path is straight but God seems to correct it mid walk. I carry the weight, sin, demons and other my family couldn't overcome. Curse I believe they say. But like Yuji I've been eating them one by one and they on occasional lash out.

God's funny that way though. It would take lots of tea time to share the current journey I've embarked on. And lately it's been a time to slow down, let go of control and take a mini sabbatical. However, I am born to be in the tune of Lady Gaga's song title. The one to take the throne. Why? Not sure God told me to go there so I have to move. God's shown much more I have been lacking. And even more so how nothing is appetizing/meaningless.

My life in terms of me is bland. If I switch to the lens of God then the picture becomes brighter. It's not me you are chasing it's that spirit that I've been taming and refining in the fire. With that stoic poker face look. It's really just this Jesus character. Take a look at the world, where the money is moving, how the power is shifting, and the natural elements all fighting each other.

The deepest part of me says to take the lead. Yet, I'm unfit to be called a king. Did David a Shepard who played music and chilled monitoring the flock want to go fight some giants? He was called to be a king yet he ran from Saul and had chances to kill him yet let him get away without a strand of hair missing. But even when he took to power he couldn't fight off his lustful desire and tried to bury his own mistakes in the grave.

What did I ask for? I asked to be surrounded with my crew. I prayed to make it clear who my better half will be. I asked God I will attend, but only to see how the vibes will be. Then I would like to make plans to watch the Seahawks game. I will only attend if certain people go. Have those conditions been met? God as of right now basically said here you go just trust me. Opening one door, me sliding over to the next door, God opens the next door and so forth.

I have no clue if it's the right time. But if I attend it will be me 60% there and like a friend just posted. I'll be glad I showed up even though I'm not in a mood to play games. People have been hiding their Nen from me. And only slowly have been running out of energy to keep it concealed. It's probably time to see why people turned the other way back then. I know I am at the fault of it and I pray to keep Jesus at the center. God just micro adjusted the situation the fit even more.

So now I pray. God let me just follow your lead. I'm not sure what you have schemed, but I will walk this way, that way etc...

Opening kick off begins now~