Mind Exhaustion

Mind Exhaustion

David Rim

There's nothing more enjoyable time when the bright sun rays hit your skin. As we breathe in the crisp Seattle air. Walking around the parks and embracing the nature. A much needed halt in the mental gymnastics I habitually go on.

It's been one year to lower my A1C from 14.5 down to in range (5.6-6.4). It's been one year from that to notice what is supposedly THE norm. A year after that I took a step of faith forward. Now we are here swerving back and forth in my lane.

I pray my stories light up your path. That no matter how imperfect as a human I am there's a God holding onto me. Been trying to quiet my mind and being even slower to speak. Yet, my spirit says one thing and flesh drag me another direction which slowly tears at my heart. Can it be sown back together?

As I double down on my pride, greed and selfish ambitions. I talk with God asking him to steer the ship. As I have started picking up knots I ask again who, what, where, when, why, and how? I am praying for miracles upon miracles. However, God will be glorified through every up and down of my journey. Am I glad about my mental gymnastics that's been tugging my heart? Yes, I am happy to be here in front of you all. On behalf of Jesus and friends/family that have passed away. I am reminded the passage "that the harvest is plenty, but the workers are few."

I cannot see the grand scheme God has for me. I can only focus on what's in front of me. And limited by my humaness scope. Things will be grand, so I pray for wisdom, discernment and help as we begin to scale the operation. Yeah, I know that you know that we know but who knows what's happening right now. I am tired of the mental warfare. I just want to be on the healthy side once more where there were no worries of life.